I Regret Nothing: Archive

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Mar 1st

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The Sherlock Fandom

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Mar 1st

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Mar 1st

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Mar 1st

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Martin: Douglas, I cannot help but notice you've filled the flight deck with orchids.
Douglas: Yes. Yes I have done that. Yes.
Martin: Are you about to propose to me?
Douglas: It pains me to break your heart, Martin, but no. These are for another man. A Finnish customs officer named Milo to be exact.
Martin: And what does he have that I don't have?
Douglas: Fish Cakes.

Mar 1st

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Mar 1st

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Cabin Pressure 1x06 Fitton

DOUGLAS: Oh well come on, no one's truly happy.
ARTHUR: I'm truly happy!
MARTIN: Oh God.
DOUGLAS: No, Arthur, you are cheery. No one's interested in the secret of true cheeriness.
ARTHUR: But that's not true. I'm fairly often just completely happy. Like, for instance, when you get into a bath quickly and it's just the right temperature, and you go "ooooh". I mean really no one gets any happier than that.
MARTIN: What a depressing thought.
ARTHUR: No, no, it's not though, because those sort of things happen all the time, whereas you're hardly ever, you know, blissfully happy with the love of your life in the moonlight, and when you are, you're too busy worrying about it being over soon, whereas the bath moments, there's loads of those! Oh, like when you realise your knuckles are ready for cracking.
DOUGLAS: What?
 (ARTHUR cracks his knuckles. MARTIN and DOUGLAS make disgusted noises.)
ARTHUR: See, I was happy then! Oh, wait, I've got another one!
 (opens a door)
MARTIN: Did you order the motivational seminar by Forrest Gump?
 (door again)
ARTHUR: Apples!
DOUGLAS: Oh, no! Please spare us the crisp crunch of the first bite of an apple!
ARTHUR: No, no, of course not. No one really likes apples. That would be like liking... wood. No, I mean... this.
 (ARTHUR tosses an apple from hand to hand)
DOUGLAS: What?
ARTHUR: This! Tossing an apple from hand to hand. It just feels really nice. I could do it for hours. Try it!
 (ARTHUR and DOUGLAS are tossing apples from hand to hand)
DOUGLAS: You know, there is something rather pleasant about this.
MARTIN: Oh, for goodness's sakes, I don't believe it!
ARTHUR: Try it!
 (ALL THREE are tossing apples)
ARTHUR: See?
MARTIN: Well, it's... satisfying, but I wouldn't say I was happy.
ARTHUR: Give it a bit longer!
 (tossing [of apples] continues)
 (door opens, enter CAROLYN)
CAROLYN: Good grief! The world's least impressive troupe of jugglers, what on earth are you doing?